Why can't I fit it all back in the drawer it came from?

My family being the it.  Generally when I visit my siblings it takes a small bit of time to get all the emotional stuff it brings up shoved back in the drawer and the drawer slammed shut.  This time, I can't seem to fit it all back in, I can't get the drawer shut.

I think I am a different person in my real life (non-family of origin life).  Or maybe it's that I am viewed differently.  People think I am capable, smart and fun.  I think my family views me as the unstable, not too smart and shy one.  I didn't attend a top college like my siblings did...frankly it wasn't possible financially at the time as my parents were divorcing.  And, I have always been on the shy side, although that has really changed over time.  Maybe the point here is that I have grown and changed, but I get tossed back to where I used to be when I visit.  Then it's hard to shove all the bad feelings it causes me to have about myself, back in the drawer.  This time was particularly bad because I flew across the country only to find out my brother was mad at me and have him treat me like I didn't exist.  My mom said I needed to think about my part in it?!  WTF???  He was mad because I expressed a viewpoint he didn't like.  And guess what, I am NOT going to change my viewpoint because someone doesn't like it.  And then there's my sister...she loves to look down on our mother.  I couldn't wait to get the heck out of there.  But, then I brought it all home with me and I've been trying to rid myself of it ever since. 

What do I need to do to extricate myself from it all?