Dear Niece/Nephew,

Over the years I've sent you cards and gifts for your birthdays and on Christmas.  Since I've always chosen the gifts from the list you sent and/or have made sure to send a gift receipt I assume that you've gotten what you wanted.  So I am a bit confused as to why you have never once sent a thank you note (card, email, text or even a phone call). 

If you don't want gifts on these occasions then you should consider not sending the gift list.  Or perhaps you received so many gifts it was just too burdensome to have to thank everyone. 

Do you realize that when someone gives you a gift it takes time to choose and purchase it, even when you've taken most of the guess work out of it by sending a gift list?  Sending a thank you text might take you 20 seconds.  That is significantly less effort than it took to purchase and send your gift. 

Can you make more of an effort in the future perhaps?  Or would you prefer to get no gifts at all?  Please do let me know.


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Does that sound too harsh?  Truth - I would never send it, but I needed to get it out of my head. 

What if it's acceptance instead of forgiveness?

I think what I need to do is accept that my sibling relationships are just going to be unsatisfying.  Nothing I do will change it, because they are not going to change magically into people I like (or who like me).  So I am going to just back away for a while. 

So do I quit giving gifts to them?  To my nieces and nephew?  I NEVER get a thank you, not via phone, text, email or god-forbid an actual hand written note.  And if gifts are the only contact you have with a person, why bother?  Should I send a card?  No card?  Nothing at all?  It feels mean to send nothing at all or just a card.  But I absolutely dread having to shop for these people.  I suppose that means I should just send a card.  :-(