Monday, July 30, 2012

A retentive memory is a good thing,

but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness.

Forgiveness. It is such a difficult thing...something that is more for you than the person or people you need to forgive.

I've kept myself stuck in a very bad place by not forgiving myself or my family. I think I need to work on forgiving myself first. Maybe then I would be able to see some light at the end of this. Right now I just can't see any good in my family of origin (mother, father, sister, brother). I don't see how I'll ever have any kind of easy or light relationship with them, much less anything meaningful. I think about how I could have done something differently to change that or how I could in the future do something differently or be a different person. That's not the answer. I am the person I am. No more, no less. Perhaps I just need to let myself off the hook for all of it. I've made and continue to make all the effort...all the travel, the gifts, cards, etc. It's not that they do nothing, but I've gotten a total of two visits (one from each sibling) in the past 6 years. My brother does call occasionally and prior to his situation they did write thank you notes. My sister's kids have NEVER written one. Not one. Not an email, no calls, nothing. If it were not for package tracking I'd think nothing was ever delivered there. It's not that I buy things they don't want either...I choose from the birthday or Christmas list that is emailed faithfully before each occasion. I think the message they are sending me (particularly my sister) is that they just do not value me. So, I think I need to stop for a while. I have tried to keep some kind of family link, but it's not valued or not important or they just do not like me. It makes me very sad, but I do need to move on.

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