but the heart that makes us family.
So very true. The people I am related to are no longer my family. Those whom I've chosen to love and share my life with are. How did I not understand this until now?
Those flesh and blood people have not been there for me for many many years and do not know me. They do not ask about my life, my family or my work when we speak unless they want something from me (Christmas time). Apparently nothing about me is of interest to them. I've understood that for a while and it hurt me. I thought I needed their approval and love. But, I've come to realize (after that horrible visit) they are not people I would seek out as friends. That makes me sad, but also frees me at the same time. Why would I need love or approval from people I don't really respect or like?
How did we come from the same parents and turn out so differently? My sister has a college degree from a good university. Instead of making her own way in the world, she got married and had two children. She worked until the first one was born and then never went back. The first is in high school and the second in middle school. She was a teacher. My sister could be influencing the lives of many young people. Instead, she plays tennis, golf and works out obsessively. And doesn't eat. She does absolutely nothing for her community (that I know of...but it is entirely possible that she does). And she judges EVERYONE very harshly. Particularly our mother. Strange thing though...she's very much like my mother in many ways.
My brother is a narcissistic man child, whose worst personality traits have been brought out by his very bad personal situation (terminally ill wife and two small children). He's also a bit of a hoarder. He bought a beautiful home and then he moved in. It's lovely on the outside and complete chaos on the inside. Boxes of crap, very little furniture, toys everywhere, beds on the floor and junk on all the counters. I'd think it was just the illness, but he's always lived this way. I absolutely hate being inside his home. It makes me anxious.
Who am I? I have a college degree and am a certified professional who's been working since I was 16. I've been married and divorced twice. I am currently in a relationship and have been for the past 11 years. We consider ourselves partners for life. We should probably get married but likely will not for many more years. Odd? Yes, but our situation works well for us. Neither of us have children. Both of us wanted children when we were younger and then eventually decided against having them around the time we met. We both enjoy some children and dislike others. I'd like to do more in my community than I do now...I donate money and a little time to causes I believe in. I am looking forward to the day when I can ramp down my career and increase my volunteer work.
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