Connecting the past to the present

That is what I am working through.  I am not entirely clear on the concept, but I am slowly unraveling things and putting them together.

My anger and sadness over the past year is primarily a product of the past, brought on by events that occurred over the previous year.  Now all of that makes sense.  What my "brother" did last year wasn't really what made me feel so bad.  It was how everyone else reacted (supporting the golden one) and then how it reminded me of the way I was treated as a child.  It also brought up a few conversations about how he abused me (physically) and whether or not this was normal "boys will be boys" or something bad.  My therapist says it's not normal, and everyone I informally polled about their experiences with their siblings thought it went well beyond normal fights.  And, it did.  My brother is a violent person.  Both in words and deeds.  My therapist continues to assert that further contact with him would probably not be a good idea.  And, I agree.  Finally.  I've not initiated any contact with him in 9 months.  He called me one time so I could talk to his kids (ugh...I don't like those kids).  I've not initiated a phone call with my sister or my mom in many months either.  My mom still calls me, and frankly I've no desire to cut off contact with her.  Sister doesn't call and you know, that's fine. 

"You're not a mother...

you wouldn't understand."  Good grief!  Is there any more offensive thing to say to someone who doesn't have children?  It's as if unless you've squeezed out a baby you are too stupid to understand simple emotions!  My mother said this to me and I really did just want to get up and walk out.  She fails to understand how obnoxious that sounds.  We were discussing my brother and how he wants everyone to do things for him for free and agree with him.  She thinks if I were a mother I would understand why it was OK for him to behave like a jerk.  I don't think I would want the world to revolve around me if I were a mother.  And I fail to understand how any person's lifestyle choices should obligate others.

I was raised by and with people who can't see beyond their own noses.  How did I ever make it out alive?  Raised by wolves...