That is what I am working through. I am not entirely clear on the concept, but I am slowly unraveling things and putting them together.
My anger and sadness over the past year is primarily a product of the past, brought on by events that occurred over the previous year. Now all of that makes sense. What my "brother" did last year wasn't really what made me feel so bad. It was how everyone else reacted (supporting the golden one) and then how it reminded me of the way I was treated as a child. It also brought up a few conversations about how he abused me (physically) and whether or not this was normal "boys will be boys" or something bad. My therapist says it's not normal, and everyone I informally polled about their experiences with their siblings thought it went well beyond normal fights. And, it did. My brother is a violent person. Both in words and deeds. My therapist continues to assert that further contact with him would probably not be a good idea. And, I agree. Finally. I've not initiated any contact with him in 9 months. He called me one time so I could talk to his kids (ugh...I don't like those kids). I've not initiated a phone call with my sister or my mom in many months either. My mom still calls me, and frankly I've no desire to cut off contact with her. Sister doesn't call and you know, that's fine.
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