Over the years I've sent you cards and gifts for your birthdays and on Christmas. Since I've always chosen the gifts from the list you sent and/or have made sure to send a gift receipt I assume that you've gotten what you wanted. So I am a bit confused as to why you have never once sent a thank you note (card, email, text or even a phone call).
If you don't want gifts on these occasions then you should consider not sending the gift list. Or perhaps you received so many gifts it was just too burdensome to have to thank everyone.
Do you realize that when someone gives you a gift it takes time to choose and purchase it, even when you've taken most of the guess work out of it by sending a gift list? Sending a thank you text might take you 20 seconds. That is significantly less effort than it took to purchase and send your gift.
Can you make more of an effort in the future perhaps? Or would you prefer to get no gifts at all? Please do let me know.
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Does that sound too harsh? Truth - I would never send it, but I needed to get it out of my head.
Showing posts with label thanklessness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thanklessness. Show all posts
Monday, August 27, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
A retentive memory is a good thing,
but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness.
Forgiveness. It is such a difficult thing...something that is more for you than the person or people you need to forgive.
I've kept myself stuck in a very bad place by not forgiving myself or my family. I think I need to work on forgiving myself first. Maybe then I would be able to see some light at the end of this. Right now I just can't see any good in my family of origin (mother, father, sister, brother). I don't see how I'll ever have any kind of easy or light relationship with them, much less anything meaningful. I think about how I could have done something differently to change that or how I could in the future do something differently or be a different person. That's not the answer. I am the person I am. No more, no less. Perhaps I just need to let myself off the hook for all of it. I've made and continue to make all the effort...all the travel, the gifts, cards, etc. It's not that they do nothing, but I've gotten a total of two visits (one from each sibling) in the past 6 years. My brother does call occasionally and prior to his situation they did write thank you notes. My sister's kids have NEVER written one. Not one. Not an email, no calls, nothing. If it were not for package tracking I'd think nothing was ever delivered there. It's not that I buy things they don't want either...I choose from the birthday or Christmas list that is emailed faithfully before each occasion. I think the message they are sending me (particularly my sister) is that they just do not value me. So, I think I need to stop for a while. I have tried to keep some kind of family link, but it's not valued or not important or they just do not like me. It makes me very sad, but I do need to move on.
Forgiveness. It is such a difficult thing...something that is more for you than the person or people you need to forgive.
I've kept myself stuck in a very bad place by not forgiving myself or my family. I think I need to work on forgiving myself first. Maybe then I would be able to see some light at the end of this. Right now I just can't see any good in my family of origin (mother, father, sister, brother). I don't see how I'll ever have any kind of easy or light relationship with them, much less anything meaningful. I think about how I could have done something differently to change that or how I could in the future do something differently or be a different person. That's not the answer. I am the person I am. No more, no less. Perhaps I just need to let myself off the hook for all of it. I've made and continue to make all the effort...all the travel, the gifts, cards, etc. It's not that they do nothing, but I've gotten a total of two visits (one from each sibling) in the past 6 years. My brother does call occasionally and prior to his situation they did write thank you notes. My sister's kids have NEVER written one. Not one. Not an email, no calls, nothing. If it were not for package tracking I'd think nothing was ever delivered there. It's not that I buy things they don't want either...I choose from the birthday or Christmas list that is emailed faithfully before each occasion. I think the message they are sending me (particularly my sister) is that they just do not value me. So, I think I need to stop for a while. I have tried to keep some kind of family link, but it's not valued or not important or they just do not like me. It makes me very sad, but I do need to move on.
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